It is so easy to be told that you need to put your children first when we are separating, but what does it actually mean? When your life is turmoil and emotions are running high this can feel daunting when there are so many things to think about.

If you have a child with someone, then regardless of whatever you think of them or whatever they might have done, they will still have an important role to play in the life of your child. Exceptions to this are rare. Possessive language that excludes or minimises the role of the other parent can negatively impact the relationship between that parent and the child and can increase conflict and make it more difficult to co-parent. We know that conflict and/or parental absence in particular has a negative impact on children.

Parents need to create the right conditions for children to thrive.

For children, whilst separation will bring inevitable feelings of loss and change, they can still thrive if their parents work in partnership to create the right conditions. We know that children are more likely to adapt with fewer problems, and less emotional distress, when parents are able to part with compassion and continue to work together in partnership even when they are not together.

On this hub you will find lots of article and tips on how to minimise the impact on children. For example; how do you set up two homes? How do you co-parent well? What does it mean to put your children first? How do you tell your child you are separating? What do I tell the school? What about holidays? And much more…


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External Resources

What About Aruna?

Four free-to-watch films looking at children and divorce/separation. The content is rooted in evidence-based research and delivered by Child Psychologist, Dr Angharad Rudkin.

NSPCC

UK's leading children charity preventing abuse.

Kids Come First

Kids Come First offer specialist support for parents seeking to help their children through the separation process.

NACCC

Child Contact Centres are neutral places where children of separated families can enjoy contact with non-resident parents, and sometimes other family members, in a comfortable and safe environment. Every year, this national organisation, via its member centres, supports families and children in their local community.

Place2Be

Place2Be provide mental health support in schools through one-to-one and group counselling using tried and tested methods backed by research.