Published on August 16, 2024

Separation can be one of the most traumatic challenges that adults and children face.

Getting the right help, especially in the early days, can make a huge difference in the outcome for everyone.

When a couple separate, if they have children together or are in a blended family, the only thing that changes is they are a couple no longer. In the eyes of the children, you are still a family, and the needs of the children remain the same.

Your family has changed shape.

Early intervention helps you to understand what is going on for you, your soon to be ex- partner and your children. It can give you information, coping strategies and help with transitioning from parents to co-parents.

First Aid First Steps for parents workshop, a two and a half hour, on-line workshop, offers parents, caregivers, extended family the opportunity to learn about what’s happening and what is to come. Help with understanding what your children need now, and in the future, and adjusting to living with parents in two homes.

AIMS OF THE WORKSHOP

  • Help parents understand the process of separation and to re-frame the journey.
  • Enable parents to understand what children need from them, during this time.
  • To introduce the concept of co-parenting and first steps to get it right.
  • Introduce some strategies for good communication
  • Consider the impact of stress for everyone, focus on the importance of self-care.

Visit the website or click on the link for the next available workshop:  First Aid First Steps for Parents Workshop – Eleda Consultancy. The workshop is £150 per person.

The course is written and delivered by Adèle Ballantyne an award winning Psychotherapist and Counsellor who has over a decade of experience working with separated couples.

This article has been written by…

And is in relation to the topic…

The Early Days Of Separation

Are you feeling overwhelmed by your separation?

Photo by Denys Nevozhai on Unsplash

Humans are designed to cope with many onslaughts, but change continues to prove extremely challenging. How you manage the early days of separation or divorce has the potential to set the tone for the rest of the process.

When couples separate, they are often thrown into a period of uncertainty. Identities are changing from couple to single, from mum and dad together as a family unit to mum with children and dad with children. Depending on the circumstances and who decides to leave the family home, there are many questions that arise during the early days of separation. “Will we have to sell our home?” “I haven’t worked since we had children – how will we manage financially?” “What will our friends and family think?” “How much will divorce cost?”
“Will I cope on my own?” There seems to be so much to sort out both practically and emotionally and it comes at a time when at least one of you will be ‘all over the place’ emotionally due to the loss you are experiencing. This can make decision-making seem impossible. Who wants to agree the practicalities of legal issues and more importantly organise the children when they are devastated, angry and confused by loss? It can turn otherwise rational, clear-thinking mums and dads into what appears to be belligerent, stubborn, unreasonable people.

Take Your Time!

In those early days of separation or divorce, take your time if you can. Seek support from friends, family and professionals. Try not to make any big decisions too quickly.
Bear in mind that communication problems with your ex and all the pressures on family life you are now experiencing, like for many separating couples, will get better with time. It’s important to recognise that you and your ex will more than likely be in very different emotional places at the moment; different stress levels and anxieties will be making communication difficult. Taking the time to sometimes do nothing, to not react, give things a day or two, can prove very useful techniques.
What you have to remember is that if you have children, your ex is always going to be part of your life. That can be hard to take on board when you are feeling hurt and angry. If you can find a way to communicate with each other that focuses on the children, you will all benefit in the years to come.

Related Articles

Triple P Positive Parenting Program

WHAT IS TRIPLE P? Triple P is a parenting programme, but it doesn’t tell you how to be a parent. It’s more like a tool...

What Is Anxiety And How Does It Affect Children.

The Word in Latin simply means uneasy or troubled. Anxiety disorders come in several different classifications, 1000’s of pages of res...

5 Essential Steps To Support Your Child’s Emotional Wellbeing.

We know that no matter what their age, divorce is stressful for kids. The research tells us that it’s normal for all children to take ...