Published on December 17, 2022

As a parent you have a duty to safeguard your children from harm.

Being in a home where there is domestic abuse puts children at risk of harm. Whether they are subjected to domestic abuse themselves, or witness one of their parents being violent or abusive to the other parent, children may suffer direct physical, psychological and/or emotional harm, and may also suffer harm indirectly.

You could be seen to be failing to safeguard your children from harm if you do not take appropriate action to protect them from this exposure. However, taking action to safeguard and protect them is understandable difficult when you are scared.

There are some practical steps you can take to protect yourself and the children in the first instance:

  • Keep a list of emergency numbers;
  • Keep a diary of events;
  • Seek medical attention if you have suffered any injury and make a note of the date you visited the GP and;
  • Keep the police informed.
  • Inform your children’s school.


The very nature of domestic abuse can make a person feel that that they are isolated but there are a number of organisations such as Woman’s Aid and local Domestic Abuse Services and refuges that can offer practical advice and support.

The details for such organisations can be found online, or your local children’s centre, council, health centre, or GP surgery should be able to provide details of such organisations or alternative support.

You could be seen to be failing to safeguard your children from harm if you do not take appropriate action to protect them from this exposure.

The Family Courts

It is highly unlikely that a domestic abuser would be able to “take” your children away if you make an Application to court. There are Orders that the court can make to protect you and your children. Safeguarding the children will always be the court’s paramount consideration.

Children Act Orders

In law, a parent with parental responsibility should be able to see their children providing it is in the child’s best interests. The mother who gave birth to the child will automatically have parental responsibility and a father will have parental responsibility if he is named on the child’s birth certificate or the parents are married. However, where there is an allegation of domestic abuse the court will only consider making an order for the child to see a parent who has been abusive if it can be satisfied that the physical and emotional safety of the children and the parent with whom the children are living will not be subjected to further controlling or abusive behaviour.

The Court is required to give special consideration to cases in which there are allegations of domestic violence or abuse. In such cases the court must decide whether it is necessary to conduct a fact-finding hearing in relation to any allegation of domestic violence or abuse.

There are a number of factors the court must take in to consideration to include the following;

  • The views of the parties and Cafcass;
  • Whether any allegations have been admitted;
  • Whether there is any evidence available to the court to allow the court to proceed I.e. in non-molestation (injunction) proceedings and;
  • The nature of the evidence

Protective Orders

The courts can protect you and the children by making one or more of the following orders:

A Non-molestation Order

This is an Order where a party is ordered not harass or intimidate you or your child, not to use or threaten to use violence and in some circumstances it can even limit their ability to contact you or come near you or your home.

Occupation Order

An Occupation Order deals with the occupation of the home and can for example include the exclusion of the domestic abuser.

Prohibited Steps Order

An Order preventing a person from removing a child from a parent’s care or from removing a child from their school or nursery.


If you are a victim of domestic abuse you may qualify for Legal Aid. When you contact a solicitor for advice, they will be able to assess whether you are eligible for Legal Aid and if you are not, then they will be able to provide you with an estimate of the likely costs involved.

If you are concerned about any of the issues raised above, you should seek support and the advice of a solicitor.

Angela Parsons contributed to the Separating With Children 101′, 3rd edition, (Bath Publishing, 2023)

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The Impact On Children

It is so easy to be told that you need to put your children first when we are separating, but what does it actually mean? When your life is turmoil and emotions are running high this can feel daunting when there are so many things to think about. If you have a child with someone, then regardless of whatever you think of them or whatever they might have done, they will still have an important role to play in the life of your child. Exceptions to this are rare. Possessive language that excludes or minimises the role of the other parent can negatively impact the relationship between that parent and the child and can increase conflict and make it more difficult to co-parent. We know that conflict and/or parental absence in particular has a negative impact on children.

Parents need to create the right conditions for children to thrive.

For children, whilst separation will bring inevitable feelings of loss and change, they can still thrive if their parents work in partnership to create the right conditions. We know that children are more likely to adapt with fewer problems, and less emotional distress, when parents are able to part with compassion and continue to work together in partnership even when they are not together. On this hub you will find lots of article and tips on how to minimise the impact on children. For example; how do you set up two homes? How do you co-parent well? What does it mean to put your children first? How do you tell your child you are separating? What do I tell the school? What about holidays? And much more...

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