Mediation

Mediation is where a highly trained person provides you and your ex with assistance to sort things out. You usually meet the mediator on your own so they can see if your case is suitable; it may not be suitable if there has been domestic abuse and the mediator does not think they can effectively safeguard.

The Mediator Has Some Obligations:

1. to report you or both of you if you suspect harm against each other or your children unless you can be persuaded to do so;
2. to report you if you disclosed information that breaches the Proceeds of Crime Act — e.g giving and receiving cash for work and not paying taxes (your lawyer can keep this confidential).

You then meet together with the three of you (online or in person) so you can decide on the priorities and work towards solutions. You will have as many meetings or sessions as you need (between two and five is typical).

The family mediator will not keep secrets or confidences between you unless they have special training to do so or have separate meetings (called caucusing).

Otherwise, mediation is completely confidential so you are free to consider any option and to think about solutions free of any concern about a judge or Arbitra- tor knowing what was said.

Mediators Can Help With:

• instructing a pension actuarial or The pension expert (or a PODE) will write a report on a fair division of your pension; 
• instructing other experts you may need g. business valuation, Capital Gains Tax, value for property; and
• drafting the legally binding documents you need and drafting the financial remedy order (not all mediators offerthis service so do ask).

You can get mediation free from Legal Aid (if financially eligible) or part paid if one of you is not financially eligible. Also, the Ministry of Justice issued time-limited, one-off mediation vouchers, paying £500 (including VAT) to assist with the cost (the preliminary first meeting is not included) of mediation relating to arrange- ments to children or children and finances.

What Is Mediation Used For? 

Following a separation or breakdown in a relationship:

• to sort out arrangements to care for the children and create a parenting plan;
• to sort out a financial proposal for settlement between you. For married, civil partners and cohabitants; and
• if you sort out both the children and the money, it’s called All Issues Mediation.

Relationship Formation:

• for pre-nuptial agreements;
• for post-nuptial agreements;
• for Deeds of Trust; and
• for cohabitation

Could This Work For Me?

Yes: mediation enjoys high success rates of around 70%.

Advantages

• Can be online as well as in person.
• Not legally binding so it’s possible to fine tune and try things out g. arrangements for the children.
• Convert your proposals into legally binding documentation (or a consent order) with the help of a lawyer or an online provider of such services.
• The mediator can give lots of legal information which saves time and money with lawyers.
• It’s considered the cheapest way to create solutions that suit your family (apart from DIY).
• You can try out arrangements for the children to see how they work out.
• The mediator makes sure you are safe and feel that you are heard.
• The mediator can work where domestic abuse has been a feature in your relationship in some limited circumstances.
• As it’s voluntary, parties usually try and make it work.
• The mediator will not tell you what to do.
• The mediator is experienced and will help you think of everything you need to consider.
• It’s very quick (depending on everyone’s availability).
• The mediator can give legal information and guide you on the legal process you need. This is helpful as you’ll both receive it at the same time so cutting down on misunderstandings.
• Mediation takes place in the ‘shadow of the law’. So, the mediator can give you an idea of the realm of what a court might order (this falls short of advice) so you won’t agree something that is legally naive.

Disadvantages 

• The mediator will not give legal advice.
• Entirely voluntary — so if one won’t go then neither of you can go, unless you go to an arbitrator who orders or directs that you to go to mediation.
• It’s not legally binding. So, it’s possible to change your mind, wasting time and money.
• Your mediator will not, usually, keep secrets or confidences and will circulate any emails you send directly to them.
• It’s not always suitable where domestic abuse has been a feature in your relationship.
• The mediator will not tell you what to do. (Although note mediation can be used in tandem with arbitration to ensure a decision).

How Do I Prepare? 

1. Work with a team member (e.g. a family consultant or therapist/counsellor) to sort out your emotions before you go.
2. Get legal advice about your  case. Make sure you keep in touch with your law- yer, so you check out proposals you are making or considering.
3. Collate all information the mediator asks you to in good time and in good In a financial case you will have to draft and collate a Form E.
4. Be willing to listen and learn from each other.

What Other Non-Court Options Could This Be Used With?

• child inclusive mediation;
• round table;
• collaborative process;
• traditional solicitor letter writing;
• hybrid mediation if the mediator is suitably trained; and
• arbitration to give See the chapter on arb-med where you start off in arbitration but use mediation to sort out issues.

Mediation is where a highly trained person provides you and your ex with assistance to sort things out. You usually meet the mediator on your own so they can see if your case is suitable; it may not be suitable if there has been domestic abuse and the mediator does not think they can effectively safeguard.

The Mediator Has Some Obligations:

1. to report you or both of you if you suspect harm against each other or your children unless you can be persuaded to do so;
2. to report you if you disclosed information that breaches the Proceeds of Crime Act — e.g giving and receiving cash for work and not paying taxes (your lawyer can keep this confidential).

You then meet together with the three of you (online or in person) so you can decide on the priorities and work towards solutions. You will have as many meetings or sessions as you need (between two and five is typical).

The family mediator will not keep secrets or confidences between you unless they have special training to do so or have separate meetings (called caucusing).

Otherwise, mediation is completely confidential so you are free to consider any option and to think about solutions free of any concern about a judge or Arbitra- tor knowing what was said.

Mediators Can Help With:

• instructing a pension actuarial or The pension expert (or a PODE) will write a report on a fair division of your pension; 
• instructing other experts you may need g. business valuation, Capital Gains Tax, value for property; and
• drafting the legally binding documents you need and drafting the financial remedy order (not all mediators offerthis service so do ask).

You can get mediation free from Legal Aid (if financially eligible) or part paid if one of you is not financially eligible. Also, the Ministry of Justice issued time-limited, one-off mediation vouchers, paying £500 (including VAT) to assist with the cost (the preliminary first meeting is not included) of mediation relating to arrange- ments to children or children and finances.

What Is Mediation Used For? 

Following a separation or breakdown in a relationship:

• to sort out arrangements to care for the children and create a parenting plan;
• to sort out a financial proposal for settlement between you. For married, civil partners and cohabitants; and
• if you sort out both the children and the money, it’s called All Issues Mediation.

Relationship Formation:

• for pre-nuptial agreements;
• for post-nuptial agreements;
• for Deeds of Trust; and
• for cohabitation

Could This Work For Me?

Yes: mediation enjoys high success rates of around 70%.

Advantages

• Can be online as well as in person.
• Not legally binding so it’s possible to fine tune and try things out g. arrangements for the children.
• Convert your proposals into legally binding documentation (or a consent order) with the help of a lawyer or an online provider of such services.
• The mediator can give lots of legal information which saves time and money with lawyers.
• It’s considered the cheapest way to create solutions that suit your family (apart from DIY).
• You can try out arrangements for the children to see how they work out.
• The mediator makes sure you are safe and feel that you are heard.
• The mediator can work where domestic abuse has been a feature in your relationship in some limited circumstances.
• As it’s voluntary, parties usually try and make it work.
• The mediator will not tell you what to do.
• The mediator is experienced and will help you think of everything you need to consider.
• It’s very quick (depending on everyone’s availability).
• The mediator can give legal information and guide you on the legal process you need. This is helpful as you’ll both receive it at the same time so cutting down on misunderstandings.
• Mediation takes place in the ‘shadow of the law’. So, the mediator can give you an idea of the realm of what a court might order (this falls short of advice) so you won’t agree something that is legally naive.

Disadvantages 

• The mediator will not give legal advice.
• Entirely voluntary — so if one won’t go then neither of you can go, unless you go to an arbitrator who orders or directs that you to go to mediation.
• It’s not legally binding. So, it’s possible to change your mind, wasting time and money.
• Your mediator will not, usually, keep secrets or confidences and will circulate any emails you send directly to them.
• It’s not always suitable where domestic abuse has been a feature in your relationship.
• The mediator will not tell you what to do. (Although note mediation can be used in tandem with arbitration to ensure a decision).

How Do I Prepare? 

1. Work with a team member (e.g. a family consultant or therapist/counsellor) to sort out your emotions before you go.
2. Get legal advice about your  case. Make sure you keep in touch with your law- yer, so you check out proposals you are making or considering.
3. Collate all information the mediator asks you to in good time and in good In a financial case you will have to draft and collate a Form E.
4. Be willing to listen and learn from each other.

What Other Non-Court Options Could This Be Used With?

• child inclusive mediation;
• round table;
• collaborative process;
• traditional solicitor letter writing;
• hybrid mediation if the mediator is suitably trained; and
• arbitration to give See the chapter on arb-med where you start off in arbitration but use mediation to sort out issues.

Mediation is where a highly trained person provides you and your ex with assistance to sort things out. You usually meet the mediator on your own so they can see if your case is suitable; it may not be suitable if there has been domestic abuse and the mediator does not think they can effectively safeguard.

The Mediator Has Some Obligations:

1. to report you or both of you if you suspect harm against each other or your children unless you can be persuaded to do so;
2. to report you if you disclosed information that breaches the Proceeds of Crime Act — e.g giving and receiving cash for work and not paying taxes (your lawyer can keep this confidential).

You then meet together with the three of you (online or in person) so you can decide on the priorities and work towards solutions. You will have as many meetings or sessions as you need (between two and five is typical).

The family mediator will not keep secrets or confidences between you unless they have special training to do so or have separate meetings (called caucusing).

Otherwise, mediation is completely confidential so you are free to consider any option and to think about solutions free of any concern about a judge or Arbitra- tor knowing what was said.

Mediators Can Help With:

• instructing a pension actuarial or The pension expert (or a PODE) will write a report on a fair division of your pension; 
• instructing other experts you may need g. business valuation, Capital Gains Tax, value for property; and
• drafting the legally binding documents you need and drafting the financial remedy order (not all mediators offerthis service so do ask).

You can get mediation free from Legal Aid (if financially eligible) or part paid if one of you is not financially eligible. Also, the Ministry of Justice issued time-limited, one-off mediation vouchers, paying £500 (including VAT) to assist with the cost (the preliminary first meeting is not included) of mediation relating to arrange- ments to children or children and finances.

What Is Mediation Used For? 

Following a separation or breakdown in a relationship:

• to sort out arrangements to care for the children and create a parenting plan;
• to sort out a financial proposal for settlement between you. For married, civil partners and cohabitants; and
• if you sort out both the children and the money, it’s called All Issues Mediation.

Relationship Formation:

• for pre-nuptial agreements;
• for post-nuptial agreements;
• for Deeds of Trust; and
• for cohabitation

Could This Work For Me?

Yes: mediation enjoys high success rates of around 70%.

Advantages

• Can be online as well as in person.
• Not legally binding so it’s possible to fine tune and try things out g. arrangements for the children.
• Convert your proposals into legally binding documentation (or a consent order) with the help of a lawyer or an online provider of such services.
• The mediator can give lots of legal information which saves time and money with lawyers.
• It’s considered the cheapest way to create solutions that suit your family (apart from DIY).
• You can try out arrangements for the children to see how they work out.
• The mediator makes sure you are safe and feel that you are heard.
• The mediator can work where domestic abuse has been a feature in your relationship in some limited circumstances.
• As it’s voluntary, parties usually try and make it work.
• The mediator will not tell you what to do.
• The mediator is experienced and will help you think of everything you need to consider.
• It’s very quick (depending on everyone’s availability).
• The mediator can give legal information and guide you on the legal process you need. This is helpful as you’ll both receive it at the same time so cutting down on misunderstandings.
• Mediation takes place in the ‘shadow of the law’. So, the mediator can give you an idea of the realm of what a court might order (this falls short of advice) so you won’t agree something that is legally naive.

Disadvantages 

• The mediator will not give legal advice.
• Entirely voluntary — so if one won’t go then neither of you can go, unless you go to an arbitrator who orders or directs that you to go to mediation.
• It’s not legally binding. So, it’s possible to change your mind, wasting time and money.
• Your mediator will not, usually, keep secrets or confidences and will circulate any emails you send directly to them.
• It’s not always suitable where domestic abuse has been a feature in your relationship.
• The mediator will not tell you what to do. (Although note mediation can be used in tandem with arbitration to ensure a decision).

How Do I Prepare? 

1. Work with a team member (e.g. a family consultant or therapist/counsellor) to sort out your emotions before you go.
2. Get legal advice about your  case. Make sure you keep in touch with your law- yer, so you check out proposals you are making or considering.
3. Collate all information the mediator asks you to in good time and in good In a financial case you will have to draft and collate a Form E.
4. Be willing to listen and learn from each other.

What Other Non-Court Options Could This Be Used With?

• child inclusive mediation;
• round table;
• collaborative process;
• traditional solicitor letter writing;
• hybrid mediation if the mediator is suitably trained; and
• arbitration to give See the chapter on arb-med where you start off in arbitration but use mediation to sort out issues.

Mediation is where a highly trained person provides you and your ex with assistance to sort things out. You usually meet the mediator on your own so they can see if your case is suitable; it may not be suitable if there has been domestic abuse and the mediator does not think they can effectively safeguard.

The Mediator Has Some Obligations:

1. to report you or both of you if you suspect harm against each other or your children unless you can be persuaded to do so;
2. to report you if you disclosed information that breaches the Proceeds of Crime Act — e.g giving and receiving cash for work and not paying taxes (your lawyer can keep this confidential).

You then meet together with the three of you (online or in person) so you can decide on the priorities and work towards solutions. You will have as many meetings or sessions as you need (between two and five is typical).

The family mediator will not keep secrets or confidences between you unless they have special training to do so or have separate meetings (called caucusing).

Otherwise, mediation is completely confidential so you are free to consider any option and to think about solutions free of any concern about a judge or Arbitra- tor knowing what was said.

Mediators Can Help With:

• instructing a pension actuarial or The pension expert (or a PODE) will write a report on a fair division of your pension; 
• instructing other experts you may need g. business valuation, Capital Gains Tax, value for property; and
• drafting the legally binding documents you need and drafting the financial remedy order (not all mediators offerthis service so do ask).

You can get mediation free from Legal Aid (if financially eligible) or part paid if one of you is not financially eligible. Also, the Ministry of Justice issued time-limited, one-off mediation vouchers, paying £500 (including VAT) to assist with the cost (the preliminary first meeting is not included) of mediation relating to arrange- ments to children or children and finances.

What Is Mediation Used For? 

Following a separation or breakdown in a relationship:

• to sort out arrangements to care for the children and create a parenting plan;
• to sort out a financial proposal for settlement between you. For married, civil partners and cohabitants; and
• if you sort out both the children and the money, it’s called All Issues Mediation.

Relationship Formation:

• for pre-nuptial agreements;
• for post-nuptial agreements;
• for Deeds of Trust; and
• for cohabitation

Could This Work For Me?

Yes: mediation enjoys high success rates of around 70%.

Advantages

• Can be online as well as in person.
• Not legally binding so it’s possible to fine tune and try things out g. arrangements for the children.
• Convert your proposals into legally binding documentation (or a consent order) with the help of a lawyer or an online provider of such services.
• The mediator can give lots of legal information which saves time and money with lawyers.
• It’s considered the cheapest way to create solutions that suit your family (apart from DIY).
• You can try out arrangements for the children to see how they work out.
• The mediator makes sure you are safe and feel that you are heard.
• The mediator can work where domestic abuse has been a feature in your relationship in some limited circumstances.
• As it’s voluntary, parties usually try and make it work.
• The mediator will not tell you what to do.
• The mediator is experienced and will help you think of everything you need to consider.
• It’s very quick (depending on everyone’s availability).
• The mediator can give legal information and guide you on the legal process you need. This is helpful as you’ll both receive it at the same time so cutting down on misunderstandings.
• Mediation takes place in the ‘shadow of the law’. So, the mediator can give you an idea of the realm of what a court might order (this falls short of advice) so you won’t agree something that is legally naive.

Disadvantages 

• The mediator will not give legal advice.
• Entirely voluntary — so if one won’t go then neither of you can go, unless you go to an arbitrator who orders or directs that you to go to mediation.
• It’s not legally binding. So, it’s possible to change your mind, wasting time and money.
• Your mediator will not, usually, keep secrets or confidences and will circulate any emails you send directly to them.
• It’s not always suitable where domestic abuse has been a feature in your relationship.
• The mediator will not tell you what to do. (Although note mediation can be used in tandem with arbitration to ensure a decision).

How Do I Prepare? 

1. Work with a team member (e.g. a family consultant or therapist/counsellor) to sort out your emotions before you go.
2. Get legal advice about your  case. Make sure you keep in touch with your law- yer, so you check out proposals you are making or considering.
3. Collate all information the mediator asks you to in good time and in good In a financial case you will have to draft and collate a Form E.
4. Be willing to listen and learn from each other.

What Other Non-Court Options Could This Be Used With?

• child inclusive mediation;
• round table;
• collaborative process;
• traditional solicitor letter writing;
• hybrid mediation if the mediator is suitably trained; and
• arbitration to give See the chapter on arb-med where you start off in arbitration but use mediation to sort out issues.